Today is Day 3. I thought I should finally finish up the lines for this upcoming Print for Tangent Artists. Here’s Jodie Whitaker as The Doctor in “The Tardis Full of Bras”
TARDIS Full of Bras by Monica Marier, medium: brush pen.
Okay I tried to watch this movie a few days ago and couldn’t even get through it. Today I finished it and I got to say, I don’t have a lot of love to spend on Oculus.
Oculus, 2014, WWE Studios
I mean, I think the trailer and the posters are actually 10 times scarier than the actual movie. The keyword for this movie is DISCOMFORT. The characters are uncomfortable, the pacing is uncomfortable, the soundtrack/ambient noise sounds like the score to a panic attack, and I get the feeling that even the actors are uncomfortable that they have this snoozer of a script to follow. Either they’re saying really dumb contradictory crap, or they’re Sam the Explaining the hell out of everything to the point where I stop caring. It’s almost all Karen Gillan and she’s always making THIS FACE while talking too fast.
“It’s plot exposition! It has to go somewhere!”
I was hoping for over-the-top demon-fighting with a mirror that eats people and dogs. What I get is people tearing off fingernails and eating lightbulbs. That’s not scary. It’s just gross. This psychological thriller would have done better if there was actually more thriller and less psychology (which mostly sounds like it was ripped off wikipedia and shoehorned in to over-explain things). But hey, from the minds behind the “paranormal activity” franchise, I probably shouldn’t expect too much. The worse sin being, that because we keep spastically jumping from past to present and crossing our pasts and maybe-pasts and perceived present, we don’t have an anchor, it’s really confusing, and it turns real peril into just a mishmash of “stuff happening.”
Apparently I’m not alone in my hatred of this movie because this guy,cinemasins nailed down about everything I hated about this movie.
WARNING SPOILERS, FOUL LANGUAGE AND GRAPHIC IMAGES!
WARNING: MOM STUFF
Today was a pretty funny kind of day, so I thought it deserved a post with my own interpretation. Today there was no school because it’s voting day, so I decided to bite the bullet and take the kids to the minute-clinic to get flu-shots done. Now, those of you with kids know that this is not something you plan out loud. If you tell your kids in advance that they’re getting shots they tend to spend every hour and sleepless night up to then. This requires you to be more (ahem) covert about your intentions.
So this morning came the announcement,
HEY KIDS! Get in the van! Mom’s gonna go vote, we’re going to run an errand *cough*, and then we’re getting self-serve frozen yogurt!
Which means I kind of feel like this.
Candy! Lollipops! Ice cream! All for free, kiddies! (Image property of Warner Bros.)
So we pile into the van and on the way to the clinic, I drop the bomb. Guess what, guys? You’re going to have to EARN it. Panic ensues, but it’s too late. We’re already down the road. Thank God for child locks.
NOPE. (property of Warner Brothers)
Now, I do know that the flu vaccine comes in a nasal spray, but I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, so I kept mum on it. When I got to the pharmacy I did ask about the nose spray. The lady behind the counter said, “Yes, but we only have ONE.”
I entertain the notion of letting one kid have a nose spray and the other a needle for a split second. It played out pretty much like the ending of The Good Son.
Yeah, never mind. (property of 20th Century Fox)
“No, We’ll all take the needle, thanks.”
So a few pinches and a few tears later, we’re out and eating frozen yogurt while showing off our battle scars.
Mission complete! You have earned XP 2,000 and gained item [pumpkin pie froyo] and earned title “the Child Deceiver.”
…BUT THAT’S THE WAY IT IS. (Property of Tri-Star films)
Life isn’t fair, and it’s not going to be. But that being said, just because things are unpleasant doesn’t mean that it’s not for a good reason. And like The Doctor says:
Well said, sir. (property of BBC)
Now to repeat this whole thing NEXT YEAR.
Goody Gumdrops (I don’t know the source for this one)
One pitfall if being a writer and artist is the fact that all of those things are done sitting down for hours at a time.
In may case I don’t even have a desk. I have a laptop stand by a couch. So I complete all my tasks like a lounging Roman hedonist, in various states of boneless reclining. So one of the things on my HabitRPG checklist is to get up an exercise.
So today I’m going to try out some of the workouts I found on Neila Rey’s site Like this one here.
Neila Rey has unlocked the key to getting me off my tuckus, which is appealing to my romantic sense of Fantasy and Heroism. And the best part is that it’s all free! Neila is only accepting gifts from enthusiasts so please consider donating.
Flatter butt? Longer lifespan? Reduce likelihood of developing cancer and heart disease? NAH. I couldn’t be bothered.
Save Middle Earth? Fight with the Free Peoples? Hold the line while Frodo destroys the One Ring? OH HELLS YES.
Granted some of the moves a little hard-core for my marshmallowy body and old-lady knees so I’m going with my limits currently and doing softer versions of some of the ones listed here. Once I stop wheezing after step one I hope to do the full on version one day.
And if destroying the newly risen disciple of Morgoth is not your thing (and why the hell isn’t it? Why do you hate freedom and sunshine?) Neila Rey has you covered with other nerd-themed workouts!
You could fight crime in Gotham, Fight demons to classic 70’s rock hits, channel The Force, or meet far off aliens and engage in lots and lots of running.
Happy sweating and stay hydrated! 😀
Monica Marier Author 