Carpe Scream Day 17

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Today’s fare is a cheesy little fun flick called Zombie Nightmare.

Zombie Nightmare, 1986 New World Pictures

And there’s only really 2 reasons to watch this movie.

1.Adam

2. West

DAT STACHE.

The makeup is terrible, the characters and plot are really kind of weak and cliched, the main protagonist is just… really hard to look at. It’s baffling.

I don’t get it, so your nipples are too warm, but your neck is cold? Why is this shirt the way it is?

But for all that, this is a really a hilariously so-bad-it’s-good that’s a joy to watch and heckle. Watch with beer and buds with a case of the late-night sillies. Bonus: it has an AWESOME soundtrack of made of metal all-stars from the mid-80s.

Inktober Day 16

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And as we all knew would happen, I ran out of time today and had to combine business with pleasure. This is a SNEAK PREVIEW of this week’s Donuts for Looking. (Sorry). Mea culpa.

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Want to see the rest? Check out Donuts for Looking this Monday!

Carpe Scream Day 16

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Okay I tried to watch this movie a few days ago and couldn’t even get through it. Today I finished it and I got to say, I don’t have a lot of love to spend on Oculus.

Oculus, 2014, WWE Studios

I mean, I think the trailer and the posters are actually 10 times scarier than the actual movie. The keyword for this movie is DISCOMFORT. The characters are uncomfortable, the pacing is uncomfortable, the soundtrack/ambient noise sounds like the score to a panic attack, and I get the feeling that even the actors are uncomfortable that they have this snoozer of a script to follow. Either they’re saying really dumb contradictory crap, or they’re Sam the Explaining the hell out of everything to the point where I stop caring. It’s almost all Karen Gillan and she’s always making THIS FACE while talking too fast.

“It’s plot exposition! It has to go somewhere!”

I was hoping for over-the-top demon-fighting with a mirror that eats people and dogs. What I get is people tearing off fingernails and eating lightbulbs. That’s not scary. It’s just gross. This psychological thriller would have done better if there was actually more thriller and less psychology (which mostly sounds like it was ripped off wikipedia and shoehorned in to over-explain things). But hey, from the minds behind the “paranormal activity” franchise, I probably shouldn’t expect too much. The worse sin being, that because we keep spastically jumping from past to present and crossing our pasts and maybe-pasts and perceived present, we don’t have an anchor, it’s really confusing, and it turns real peril into just a mishmash of “stuff happening.”

Apparently I’m not alone in my hatred of this movie because this guy,cinemasins nailed down about everything I hated about this movie.

WARNING SPOILERS, FOUL LANGUAGE AND GRAPHIC IMAGES!

Inktober Day 15

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I realized last night that I’ve been a guest at RavenCon since 2010, and I’ve never yet drawn them a raven. I felt it was time to correct that, so from me, to all the wonderful Ravencon staff and, here’s Corby. And do check out Ravencon Convention in Richmond VA. It’s a fantastic scifi fantasy convention and I look forward to it every year.

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Corby, by Monica Marier 2015, pen and ink

Carpe Scream Day 15

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Today I watched the German Film, “Die Fabre” based on H.P. Lovecraft’s The Color Out of Space.

Die Fabre, 2010, Stuttgart

In this version, a young American man goes to Germany to find his father who’d mysteriously run away, wondering if his panic might have something to do with his dad’s experiences during World War II. He meets an old man who remembers seeing his father as an American Medic during the war. He then tells a long tale about his neighbors that lived in the blasted valley beyond his farm house, and how they dwindled and died after a mysterious meteor fell to earth.

It’s filmed in a classic stark noir, with the only color coming from the strange meteor. The acting is great as is the camera shots, but they broke a cardinal rule of movie-making which is: if you can’t nail the effects, don’t show it.

The scenery is a hodgepodge of photoplasty and special effects whose execution ranks somewhere between Xena and Birdemic (they couldn’t even put real boards up over windows?) When we finally see a genuine monster, we suddenly go from “high-suspense” to mild bemusement. They could have done far more with shadows, body contortion and creative camera angles, then to try and scare us with this.

*siiiiiigh*

Actually, one of the more frightening scenes was when we’re only shown a hand creeping along the floor coated in a dark jelly. That was far more visceral and interesting than the doctored photos and bad CG.

The adaptation was a little clunky as well as we’re treated to 2 separate flashback stories that really don’t seem to mesh at all. They could have set it in World War II and have Armin tell the story to the American GI’s and spared us a lot of wasted story that didn’t seem to go anywhere.

It’s a good yarn, and a must-see for Lovecraft fans. Just go get a coffee when the monsters start writhing and imagine the contorted Mrs. Gartener. It will be way more scary than what’s on screen.

Carpe Scream Day 14

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Wednesdays are family movie nights, so this Wednesday, I bring you another family-friendly monster movie: “Wallace & Gromit, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit”

Wallace & Gromit The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, 2005 Dreamworks

This is a fabulous send-up of your usual monster movie. Man wants to benefit mankind through science, something goes horribly wrong, man is now cursed to transform into being that stalks and destroys the people he was trying to save. Though in this case it’s vegetables. The movie is set in a sleepy Yorkshire village where everyone is trying to win the prize vegetable competition.

The send-ups and parallels of other famous monster movies like The Wolf Man, King Kong, and Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde are brilliant and well worked in. Gripping dramatic camera shots, haunting music and brilliant animated expression add horror and gravitas to a very silly story.

My favorite is when Gromit comes across a mass of half-eaten vegetables and the camera gives you a graphic shot of pulp and seed and juices, while the orchestra goes nuts, and Gromit reels against the door, overcome by the senseless destruction. You can almost just imagine that a half-eaten squash is as horrifying to him as a bloodied broken corpse. It’s really well done and a great movie to share with the family.

Carpe Scream Day 13

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Today I watched an old Silent Movie I’d always meant to watch, but never had time too. (Silent movies REALLY involve zero opportunities to multitask, which is like death to me). Here is The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

This is a beautiful dark cinema masterpiece that blurs the line between pure fantasy and real life. The sets are all cubist masterpieces that evoke paranoia and claustrophobia, and are almost Seussian in execution.


The costumes and makeup are whimsical but also eerie, like you’re watching a very dark Betty Boop cartoon. The Story itself is a chilling masterpiece, not unlike a Lovecraft, Dunsanee, or Poe work. It focuses around a mysterious old man at a circus with a prophetic somnambulist named Cesare. At the same time a rash of grusome stabbings break out.

The movie keeps us on our toes through flashbacks, flash-forwards and seeing things constantly in other peoples minds, which leads you to wonder, who exactly is telling the story, and who is the sane one? At the same time, the puppet somnambulist, Cesare creates a very compelling character which I’m sure has inspired several hundred works.

I highly enjoyed this movie and very much recommend it.

You can actually see the whole movie here. Enjoy!